Thursday, February 12, 2015

{New Series} Why I || Dress How I Do

 Why I Banner
 So, some of you may have noticed the absence of my post yesterday and some of you may not have. I meant to have a post ready on Tuesday night to publish but the day got away from me, and Wednesday, I was away from home the entire day.

After asking for post inspiration in my last post [HERE], and receiving a very nice comment from an anonymous reader named Kitty, I decided to start this new, and if all goes well, by-weekly series called "Why I"! My first post in this series is inspired by Kitty's comment, some of her questions are as follows:

-Talk about modesty standards. I am strangely fascinated hearing about other girls' ideas on what's modest, haha. Maybe because it varies so much? For one person, 'modest' is right-above-the-knee shorts, for another it's floor length skirts. What are your modesty standards? What are Cassie's? What are your parent's rules on this topic? How should one go about developing their standards? These are all questions I'd love to see you answer in a post on this!

-What are your thoughts on makeup/beauty stuff. Like, what makes piercings, make up, hair dye, etc. overly vain vs. 'just enhancing your natural beauty'?


 Well Kitty, I am here today to answer some, if not all, of your ponderings!

There have been many blog posts written on modesty, why it is important, or why some people feel it isn't. But not on our blog! While we have definitely stated some of our personal guidelines and beliefs on the subject, much to my chagrin, there has never been a post devoted solely to telling you our complete thoughts regarding the issues mentioned above. I plan to fix that today. ;-)

 While this is obviously something near and dear to our hearts, we have been hesitant to speak out on it thus far because of the sensitivity many, many girls hold for this subject. The subject being how we should dress, and if it is indeed important to our Heavenly Father, or matters to Him at all.

First off, Cassie and I agree almost completely on what I am about to say, but I am perhaps a bit more straight-forward and black-and-white, so, do not assume what I say goes exclusively for her and I.

(My!) Basic "Rules":
  •  If a skirt is too tight is the rear, I choose either to wear a tunic with it, or forgo wearing it altogether.
  • My skirts always go to below the knee, and I wear leggings with them if they are that short.
  • If a skirt is sheer, I wear a slip with it, no matter if it's 120* out or not. [Which it never is.] ;-P :-D
  • I never wear just one layer, I wear a tanktop or a cap sleeve t-shirt under every blouse, sweater, or dress.
  • Generally, I do not use the '3 fingers down from the collarbone' approach, I just wear high necklines.
  • I don't wear body-hugging shirts. [There is a difference between fitted and a sausage casing!]
  • I don't wear pants as I believe they are not as modest as most skirts, and that since men wear pants, women should dress differently. [Deuteronomy 22:5]
  • I restrict myself from wearing shirts that draw attention to the bust line. [e.g. words across the front, low v-neck, etc.]
 So there is my answer to the question "What are your modesty standards".

 Her next question was,"What are Cassie's?" Well, I can tell you they are similar, but as I said before, we are different.

Our parent's rules are much less strict than ours, but they encourage us to keep our own convictions strong! For instance, our little sisters are not made to wear only skirts, but are not allowed to wear sleeveless shirts out of the house. And rules do get more specific as they get older. :-)

I believe how one should go about developing their own standards is simple [as I told you, I am a black-and-white kind of person]. Search the scriptures for what God considers immodest, though, if you look for that exact word, you will not find an overwhelming result as the words modest and immodest only appear a handful of times in His Word. Instead, try to find instances where God compares nakedness to shame, but is pleased by modest actions, both in heart and dress. Truthfully, the Bible doesn't really give precise instructions for how to dress, so, it can be frustrating [to me anyway] when trying to represent *my side of the case. (*That we should dress modestly, and in particular, not wear pants.) But, the Scriptures do tell us that we should be different from the world and in everything we do, please Yahweh [Romans 12:2 and 1 Corinthians 10:31]. I personally believe when it says everything, it means everything. So, if you believe conforming to the world in how you dress doesn't really matter, *shrug*. I got nothing else to say. :-) I've come to realize, no matter how much I try, I can't change people's minds, and I am not the Holy Spirit. I can only bring the matter to your attention and hopefully you'll follow up with some heart and Scripture searching.

 Kitty's next question was what my thoughts are on makeup\beauty stuff, and also, some more super touchy subjects, piercings and hair-dyeing. As usual, I am not quite sure where to start... Okay, I'll start with what my pure opinions are, the ones that I don't have backed up word-for-word with Bible verses. I think that we shouldn't pierce our flesh if we wish to please our Heavenly Father with our body. There is in fact a reference though, (that I don't believe directly applies, but is still interesting) from Leviticus 19:28,“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” Yes, this is from the Old Testament. But, I believe God's rules and statutes are unchanging. Much like mine, hahaha! Except I am wrong a lot and He never is! :-D

On to the subject of dyeing your hair. Again, my opinion first. I don't believe I will ever dye my hair. And frankly, I think it's vain and worldly to do so. Listen closely, I did NOT say God loves you less, or that I am the perfect example of what a Christian female should look like. I said I think it's vain and worldly to dye your hair. Why? you ask. Because if God had wanted you to have platinum blond hair, you would have been born with it. We take everything far too lightly nowadays, we need to start putting more thought into what we do.

Picking up where I left off on the "if God would have wanted you that way He would have made you that way" note, I believe makeup is evil. *Just kidding* Scared you for a second there didn't I? Haha! What I do believe about makeup though is that... [this may surprise you] I. Don't. Know. Yes, you've finally found the one topic I don't have a set-in-stone opinion on! I've read books on why we shouldn't wear makeup, I've told myself it doesn't matter as long as you use it in moderation, and I'll admit, I like wearing makeup. But I also hate it. I like it because, yeah, it makes me look prettier! I hate it because when I do wear it (pretty rarely) I am constantly hoping nothing is running, wearing off, or spread on too thick. And honestly, no one has ever made me feel like it's worth it. I get compliments whether I woke up feeling ugly or not! I could spend 20 minute perfectly covering blemishes and not get a "you look nice today", or I could go fresh-faced with a smile and hear that encouraging phrase anyway! Since I don't really have an opinion to present you with, I will continue giving you my thoughts. Thought number 1: who are we wearing it for? Thought number 2: why are we wearing it for them? Ladies, lets admit that we mostly wear makeup to look better for guys... I mean really... who cares if your girlfriends like how you look? ;-P  But then why would we want them to not see the real us? If you are pursuing a Godly relationship, it will most likely end in marriage and what woman gets up an hour early so her husband doesn't see the bags under her eyes? Ummmmmm, can I get a no one?? Hahaha! So... my ramblings do have a point. Since when does what God made need enhancing? I believe His exact words were,"It is good."
 Everything I've said can pretty much be summed up in this one quote, dress to please God, not men.

  Well Kitty, I certainly hope I've answered your questions and fulfilled your expectations!

I have been writing this post off-and-on all day y'all, and now I have to go pick out my wedding day outfit! No. I am not getting married tomorrow. :-(  :-D   But I am photographing a wedding! *yay*
Please remember to comment a subject you'd like to see covered in the "Why I" series, thank you!

What is your personal dress code?
What topic would you like to see me discussing next in the "Why I" series?
Do you believe God cares about modesty?

Dressing for His glory,
Rebekah 



16 comments:

  1. What are your rules for courtship/dating? And now while you're not in a romantic relationship, do you hug/kiss boys - because me, for example, when we have people over, I just kiss or hug them 'hello' and 'goodbye' even if they are boys.
    Why would you set stricter rules for when your pursuing a romantic relationship than the normal relationship you have with just-other-boys?
    I read in one of your old posts that your convictions are similar to the Duggars - why would you save holding hands for the engagement when you can hold hands with pretty much every other being in the world? Can't you do anything extra special with your romantic person?
    What are your opinions on all that? I'm very curious and I hope you'll answer them!

    ~ Miss Molly Gibson

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    1. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this too!

      Some of the Duggars/Bates courtship standards confuse me- like, why can you hug (which is way more physical contact) but not hold hands? Maybe it's just me, but I don't think hand-holding is all that great [to be saved for engagement] and I don't feel it is inappropriate. Though, for clarity, I have not held hands with any boys, besides for group games/circles, etc. with no romantic purpose.

      I do think it would be strange to have more restrictions with someone you are courting than any other boy. I also disagree with the constant chaperones... people can be different on their own, so I would definitely want to know what they're like by themselves before I committed to spending my life with them.

      Kitty

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    2. I believe I have found inspiration for the next Why I post! Thanks girls! :-D

      ~Rebekah

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  2. Oh my word! You're photographing a wedding?? How exciting!!!!!!!
    Haha, sorry, but that was the thing that jumped out to me the most from your post. :)
    I don't have the same convictions about some of the topics presented in your post (although I definitely agree that modesty is important and God-honoring) but I applaud you for sharing your opinions! And I love how you summed up your post-"dress to please God, not men." :) Hope you're having a lovely day!
    Ps. Will you be posting about the wedding you photograph? And is this the first one you've photographed? I'd love to hear more about your photography!

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    1. Thanks for commenting Natalie! I may or may not be doing a post about the wedding, I would have to get permission from the bride and groom first of course! ;-) It was a small affair, no need to get too excited! ;-D And yes, this is the first wedding I have photographed.

      ~Rebekah

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    2. Oh, okay. :) Well, if you do, I'd love to see it!
      Well, you have to start small. I'd love to photograph a wedding, no matter how tiny. haha Hope it went well and that it was fun for you!

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  3. I really like this post a lot. I, like Kitty, am really interested in others modesty standards. I wear pants pretty much everyday except to church on Sunday. That's more of a reverence to God and presenting myself in my "Sunday best" than it is a modesty thing. I still feel my clothes are modest. I've had a few discussions with my brothers about modesty and what they think is modest for a girl to wear. It really is interesting how much modesty standards differ.

    With makeup, I wear it about half the time. If I'm around the house, I don't. If I have a job interview or will be meeting up with a friend I like to wear it because I feel like I look more awake and attentive to them. I totally understand about feeling like it's smearing off or something. I feel the same way when I wear it.

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    1. Thanks for your comment Jill! Yes, it's good to ask the guys in your life what they think is modest, though I imagine it could get a little bit awkward sometimes! Haha! Thanks again for the comment!

      ~Rebekah

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  4. What a pleasant surprise to see this post today! Thanks for writing it, I enjoyed hearing your thoughts on this subject.

    I don't really have set-in-stone modesty standards; mine fluctuate quite a bit. I completely agree that we should question who we are trying to please with our clothing, and I think that's probably the most important thing we can ask ourselves. I don't think it's right for women to objectify themselves in their dress- purposefully wanting others to look at their bodies in a sensual way. I wish the media would stop portraying women in this way, it is so problematic for people to constantly see these types of images and it changes their expectations and perception of ladies.

    I don't know about you, but when I see a group of girls in long skirts, there is something so lovely and beautiful about it-- much more so than any group of girls in skinny jeans or cut-off shorts and crop tops. ;) Women can look lovely without flaunting their bodies in a demeaning way.

    I hope that you have a joyous time at the wedding and that your photos turn out delightful!

    Kitty

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    1. Thanks for the questions that inspired my first Why I post! ;-) Yes, there's just something beautiful about modesty... <3 Thank you for the well-wishes!

      ~Rebekah

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  5. Fianlly got around to reading your on post;) lovely!:)

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    1. Thanks Luba! Glad you enjoyed it!

      ~Rebekah

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  6. I really appreciate your posts. I love your girls' blog! It's definitely been an encouragement. I love this Why I series; they're honestly some of my favorite any blogger posts.

    I definitely would love to hear your courtship convictions. I really love the Duggars/Bates rules and have decided to apply some into my own life.

    I unfortunately dress like a lot of other girls in America. I were pants a lot and am drawn to trends and worldly clothes. After finding a lot of blogs like this, I've been trying to be stricter and mindful of the Lord's will with my standars. All my clothes, skirts, dresses, or pants, have to come to my knees or they are for bed or layering. I always were sleeves and try to never show my cleavage. I usually have long, loose pants on, and only believe in one set of piercings in a girls ears. I do wear full coverage makeup, but it's never hindered me from my job with kids.

    Do you have any advice on solidifying your standards?

    What is you're view on women working at all?


    Thanks!

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    1. Thank you for commenting! Somehow I failed to see this until now! I just published a post about my "courting rules", hope you'll enjoy it! My advice about making your standards solid is just to dress as modest as possible. I mean, you can't really dress 'too modest' in my opinion. No, you don't need to cover your every inch of skin, but if you want to dress modestly, dress modestly. ;-) I won't tell you exactly what to wear, but as long as it coincides with what the few Bible verses concerning modesty say, you're good. ;-) My opinion about women working... hmm. Well, I think a women's place is in the home. But modern women are career-oriented instead of family oriented. They started out on that road out of necessity after WW11, and then grew to want to get out of the house and earn their own money. Anyways, I think if a women is married, she should stay at home and take care of the house, and children if they have any. If they don't and her husband doesn't mind her working, there ya go. She can work. ;-)

      ~Rebekah

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  7. I agree, Rebekah! You are so right! What about nail polish?

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  8. I think Heavenly Father totally cares about modesty! I was just reading an article today about human intimacy, and it spoke about how our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit here on the earth. I think that's a BIG deal. In the same article, it spoke about how we have been bought with a price, and that price is the Savior's life. So with that as a back drop, I think Heavenly Father definitely cares, because to mistreat our bodies is almost trivializing the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
    So many of the things you believe totally are in line with what I believe! Like your view on working women! There's a document our church published called "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", I think you would really enjoy it! I'll post the link :)
    https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

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